So May is over. It’s been a great month for me but it’s time to get new goals for June. Another thing happening this June is we are officially at the half way mark to ending 2017. Time is flying. We are coming into a new season.
As we jump into this second half of the year what have you done with the first half? Looking for a new job? How many applications and interviews have you been on? Looking to end love but in the name of not being alone have you cut off the old draining love? Nope, he or she is still there? Looking for new love but haven’t stepped out to enjoy yours? Want to travel but haven’t even applied for a passport? Want to lose weight but won’t even work out at home on free YouTube channels? See the one main ingredient that is missing is action.
We all love to talk. We talk about dreams but won’t make the first step towards them. New Year’s Eve night and you will have a new set of things to do but haven’t put energy to at least begin the set you are supposed to be working on now. I know you have excuses we all do but the only person who hurts from uncompleted goals is you. It’s one thing to be working hard towards goals and not measure up but you can’t even begin to even complain if you have done nothing.
So what you gonna do? Simply dream? Simply talk? Just hope things just line up? Let me know how that works out for you. Anything you want takes work. It’s going to take effort. So let’s step it up. No more dreams without a plan. Be realistic in your plan. Start with one work out day. Change what you eat, pack your food for your day if you are serious about losing weight. Fill out 5 applications a day if you’re looking for a job or a better one. Call a recruiter and ask the questions and set up a tour if you want to go back to school? All of this requires energy and action.
We say year after year how this is our year but you really can’t believe it if you don’t work towards it. I blogged and stand by the premise that if you put half the energy you put into others around you-you would be a better person trust me on it. You can be a better person by working on your inside than out. So in this new month-take a step and leap.
Do you really want it that bad? Prove it to yourself.
- Write it out. What is your vision?
- Research what it will take. If it’s money needed how much. Do you have a gift or talent that can help you make the money to get there? Do it. Get you a jar, decorate it and save towards it.
- Clear your mind. You can’t make space with new things still holding onto the old stuff.
Get around like minded people who already doing it. Get a mentor.
So you have things to do. You don’t have time to sit around watching the world be great. You don’t have time to babysit what everyone else is doing. Time to make it happen. Recommit to you!! Invest in you.
Happy National Pizza Party day. Who doesn’t love pizza? Okay not a real way to open up the blog by hey it’s Friday and I am in uber good mood today. For all of those who will have a slice have fun! I have eaten enough of my points in other delectable things for the week that I need to chill until date night tomorrow night. So how was your week? Mine was pretty good so let’s dive in.
So this has been a good week. Let me shout out my kids this week. They are ending the school year on some awesome high notes. My daughter-the oldest has a birthday coming up. My son is going to kindergarten next year and has a moving up graduation soon. My youngest is doing well and has adopted a new imaginary friend aka her bunny. This has been an awesome week for the Storr kids. That makes me and my husband super awesome. Another good thing this week has been that I have gotten the most sleep in a long time. Now with that we will talk about my lows but that’s at least a plus this week. I am still losing the weight and I am super excited. I have another goal and that is a cute little Boho bathing suit I have been eyeing for the Summer. Oh and Summer is coming so insert the biggest happy face ever. I love heat! I have some awesome plans this weekend along with some scheduled me time so I can’t wait to get me together like I always do-no excuses. Have a wonderful weekend and do one thing that will renew your mind. Sometimes that means cleaning a few things out in preparation for what is to come.
Here is a short list of renewal things (I get asked this in emails often)
- Clean up your space-this is very renewing. Clutter will get the best of you.
- Go to a park-being outside is very comforting.
- Magazine time-you need to be able to take some time out to enjoy a few favorites.
- Visit a coffee shop
- Church or mediation
- Go to a farmers market
- Sleep-rest is a beautiful thing. I am super busy but taking an extra hour does amazing things
- Shopping for some is super renewing
- Organize-doing things to help your week saves time and energy. I meal prep, breakfast prep like making sandwiches I can freeze and grab, making smoothie bags for the week all ensure that the excuse of “don’t have time” is gone. How else would I get through the week with 3 small kids at 3 different schools?
- Kingston Frazier, 6 years old was killed when his mother went into a grocery store and left him in a car unattended with the keys. A group of men later identified as teenagers took the car with the boy in it and hours later he was found dead with a shot-gun wound. My heart has been hurting and my head too over the senseless deaths of our children this week. Please keep this family in prayer.
- Following up from the previous death is the death of Gabriel Taye who died of an apparent suicide after he had been bullied and knocked out the day before after hitting his head on a wall by another boy in his class. His mother was not informed of what happened and 2 days later he was found in his bedroom from a suicide.
- Here in Philly a 10-year-old boy had been bullied and came home and told his mom he had the worst day of his life. She gave him space and then when she went to check on him he had died of an apparent suicide. I know there are a lot of other news stories but these are important this week. We have kids’ life being taken for no reason. Please parent be vigilant with your kids. Please make sure that you talk with your children. We need to listen and support our children. Do NOT leave them in the car. Although the actions of the mother who left Kingston in the car were bad, the real enemy was the boys that took his life. May all of these beautiful boys always be remembered and let’s have less of them. I will do a separate blog about all of them soon.
- Trump and the Russian ties is heating up. So be on the look out if you already aren’t now.
- The dirty mirror-this had a lot to do with my personal journey that I am taking in my life to love me more and how that is affecting and could potentially affect the state of my marriage. These changes have so far made us strong but for others who find themselves in this change it can make them second guess everything.
- I got you ma-this is the season that men start the cat calling more. Summer lovin is finally on its way. For the single and ready to mingle this could be good. Just don’t lose your mind and think that all men are on the up an up because they are not. Some will promise the world just to bed you. Never lose focus. If you only want sex, protect yourself, but if you want more, be vigilant and ask questions. Men will tell you what you ASK. So ask the right ones.
- TBT: we threw it back to when putting it all on the table too soon may be considered an issue. Don’t be the only one throwing it out there. Ask. If you’re dating its your season to enjoy someone’s company as well as it is to collect information.
So I went to the doctors a few weeks ago and got a clean bill of health. So she asked me to get blood work done. I didn’t do it. So now the migraines that had subsided since I started eating better and losing weight have come back. So today I didn’t hesitate to get the blood work done this morning. So that is the push for all of my ToiTime to take care of themselves. So it’s your job to be vigilant about what you need. You can’t take care of anyone if you don’t take care of you first. I have to wait until Monday to get the results and I am pretty sure I know what they will say. I will keep you posted. I do not think I am in immediate danger. I do believe vitamins etc. will have to be readjusted. Other than that whatever has been going on makes me super exhausted. I am anemic but that was improving. So say a little prayer that all will be well and continue that way.
Well I hope all is well. We are ending April on a pretty good note I think. I hope whatever you didn’t get to accomplish that you take some speed into May. It’s a new month around the corner. In addition to that it’s time to see where we did well and where we could have done better this week.
- It’s been a full 100 days in office for President Trump. No matter if you like him or hate him there has been more going on with his first 100 days than most full presidencies. For one we have had so much threats and rumors of wars. This is not something that we can act like won’t affect the world because we all know it will. So I don’t know what the next few years will look like, but you can best believe we will remain prayerful, vigilant, and woke.
- This week has been filled with sports hysteria. We are in the middle of the 2017 NFL draft weekend. I live in Philadelphia and let me say the buzz is not an overkill. People are out enjoying the full weekend events and it has been going well. If you haven’t already catch up on the picks and events.
- There has been more children being abducted in this week than before. Now that’s not saying I am supporting that statement with full facts. But there has been an increase of children all over my social media, in the news, and its getting crazier day by day. No matter how great of a parent anything can happen but please be more vigilant with your little ones now more than ever. Do not leave them unattended not even in the backyard. Keep them close to you when you are in stores and do not let them walk behind you on the streets. Grab your little ones hands. This may require that you take phone calls and text messages later but it’s better than putting up flyers. Pay attention to them. Some people are so evil that they watch how interactive you are with your children only to scoop in when they think you don’t care.
- R.I.P Robert Godwin Jr. If you do not know who he is he was the man who was walking home from an Easter dinner with his family and was shot at point-blank range by Steve Stephens who chose him randomly and killed him on Facebook live. It ensued a national manhunt that ended when he took his own life as police pursuit. I know this has story is slowly becoming yesterday’s news but out of respect please stop sharing these videos and videos like it. These are real life people who families would appreciate that you find a piece of morality and care.
This week I am down another 3.5 pounds. Won’t He do it?! Yes! I am super excited. I also did one of my own suggestions in a previous blog about keeping your mental sanity by buying flowers and placing them right on my night stand by my bed. When I have gotten up this morning I smell them. Let me tell you how much a store-bought 7.99 bouquet has done for me. Amazing things for my entire mood. Every morning after I have smelled them things have gone immediately crazy. I have little kids from bathroom accidents, to refusal to get up, to finding missing items it hasn’t affected me one bit. The flowers aren’t magical in the least bit. They just provide a place for me to go to my happy place as I start my day. Try it!
As always if you have missed a blog you are missing out so get caught up.
- How to deal with a jerk. It’s a quick reminder that adjusting your attitude can go a long way.
- Ask Toi: pet names and how speaking up can work wonders even in new relationships.
- Keep your knee pads-this was the #tbt of the week and we were talking about equality and the things that some men expect but wouldn’t do for themselves
- Dragging Lala: the internet was having a field day with the actress because in spite of Carmelo being wrong for infidelity she was supposed to forgive and forget. That is craziness. No woman should be cheated on and take it and especially when rumors of babies being added in.
- Single and married is the response to Carmelo’s rumored line that Lala was married he wasn’t. If you’re married you know right well you can’t openly cheat and that be okay unless you have an established open marriage that both parties agree on.
- Stress management-emotional stress can be a killer. All stress tugs on the matters of the heart. Deal with that to deal with the stress.
- Leave the kids out of it goes out to the rude comments made about if Serena Williams who we now know is pregnant while still competing. No her baby is not going to be made of chocolate milk but if it was it was be the best chocolate milk. Never talk about kids regardless of how you feel about their parents.
- Weigh in: 04/26/2017 this is where I share my newest update on my weight loss journey. PS. I also drank a unicorn frap, donuts and some wine. Learning to be normal and balance working out, eating right and indulges is a great tool.
I have dedicated to getting 2 days a week of sleep and I haven’t done well with that. I have run on empty a few times by doing the most when I get home since I am still doing mandatory overtime and not enough of slowing myself down. This upcoming week I will be able to slow down and take a much-needed vacation with my girls. However I will not run myself to the bone before I get there. I have done a lot ahead of time and look forward to a much semi slower week,
As always I love you all. Get out this weekend and pour a little back into your cup. Do not do more for others and leave yourself depleted!! Have a great weekend and I will blog soon!!
So I told you all I would keep you updated with my blog. So with those sentiments let’s dive right in. I am doing Weight Watchers which uses a series of points assigned to food to help you manage your life. So I have 30 points a day and 35 cheat points that I use a week. So I did my weigh in and I am down another 3.2 pounds. That’s great news as I am so super close to my ultimate goal I can taste it.
This week and most weeks I noticed the more I eat normally meaning taking good care to be within my points but still enjoy eating the more I lose. Now let me make a statement right now before I began what I do doesn’t mean I am sending out a message that you can do what you want and still lose weight. You can’t. You have to be able to be disciplined but still allow for yourself to be you. I feel that is what I have been able to achieve and thus far I have lost 35.2 pound to date. So do I deprive myself? Nope. I work out and I work out hard. I also stick to the plan. I use my points wisely. I go out to eat and I drink wine and clutch your pearls I’ve even had a Unicorn frappuccino. See it’s not just what you eat its how much and how often. I splurge my points for what I want. I eat like I am supposed to and incorporate more fruits and veggies. It works for me.
So I don’t allow other people to dictate to me what I should do. I paid to do a program to change my life and it has. I do not let folks and their “knowledge” dictate to me what I should do. What I eat won’t make you fat. I am not interested in fads that don’t teach me how to change my lifestyle. This is why I don’t like diets that have shakes and meals you must buy. One they are super expensive. Secondly as soon as you get tired of doing the shakes and meals you go right back to where you started. I am doing what I am doing to be healthier first and to look better in my clothes. I want to wear the clothes I want to wear and not the ones I have no choice to wear. So if you’re looking to change do what works for you. Eat in moderation. I love donuts I had one last week too. However I adjusted my eating and didn’t slack on my workouts because I was too tired. Anything worth having takes hard work to achieve it.
I am getting close to my birthday and that is around the time I will hopefully have met my goal or be as close as I humanely can to the goal. I can’t wait to share with you. The goal of my sharing my journey is to help someone else see that yes I eat real food. Yes I enjoy food. I just don’t let food consume me. I no longer eat my emotions. I no longer eat and make excuses that don’t serve me. I am not a “gym rat.” I do practical work outs at the gym 2-3 days a week while at my full-time job. When I can’t and my schedule gets tights I work out at home and use my kids as weights. They enjoy it and I need it. If all else fails than I go to YouTube for free workouts but I get it in. I’ll check back in soon but this is the journey I am on to a better me on the outside as I work my inside.
Happy Friday ToiTime readers!! Can you hear the joy in my voice? That is what happens when you have been working 12 hour days all week and you finally get over 9 hours of sleep. I am refreshed and will need it for the Easter weekend. Anyway. There has been a lot going on this week so let’s recap.
- United Airlines out here handing out ass whippings for not giving up seats. The company is in a full-blown mess these days. I expect a large payout and for the company’s bottom line to suffer behind the mess. Little tid bit, do not ever release statements that victim blame.
- Second week of bombs from the United States. Trump’s administration has dropped the largest non nuclear bomb on Afghanistan. The only issues with all of this bombing is that I fear retaliation against the United States. For the sake of the world I pray I am wrong.
- Woman stabbed to death by Palestinian man on a train in Jerusalem.
- 2 Georgia police officers were fired after a video surfaced of them punching a handcuffed man.
I had a great weekend this past weekend. I was able to get some me time which was not planned for a full day but definitely turned into a beautiful full day. I enjoyed the quiet, some adult music and just some down time. I have been working 12 hour days almost everyday for the past 2 weeks so it felt good to recharge. I also enjoyed some family time with own family. We enjoyed some time at Comic Con in Philadelphia where I took some amazing pictures and met some amazing people. This week has been a little crazy with the mandatory overtime. However I was able to get some rest last night and I swear it felt like I slept for an entire week in one night. I expect to have a good weekend this weekend with my kidlets. They love holidays like me so we will have a blast celebrating. I wish you all who celebrate Easter to remember what it’s all about and have a great one!
- Stress awareness-phyiscal stress. We talk about what makes us stress out and what that looks like in our physical body. How we can grab the stress and turn it around in our lives.
- Let’s get physical-not everyone enjoys going to the gym even if its good for us. It’s like veggies but not liking all of the veggies that there are. You can find physical enjoyment in getting up and finding activities that you enjoy.
- Humble my ass, we talk about Lamar Kendrick’s newest hit Humble. It’s a great record except for all of the men who think this is the song of all songs but don’t truly apply to the words they spit. It takes more than a dope song to apply it. We also talk about Tyrese and his ability in his own mind to tell women what they should or shouldn’t be doing while flaunting his 46% Black wife. Love is love it doesn’t matter what color or race she is but he felt the need to tell the world and down women while uplifting us too as if that can be done at the same time.
- TI-Marriage is a distraction: This sounds horrible and it is. It is horrible if he didn’t have this conversation with Tameka “Tiny” his wife prior to the interview and even worst if he didn’t have this conversation with her before he began acting single. Truth in marriage is hard and it’s not always beautiful. However honesty should never take a back seat to feelings because in the end no one wins.
This week I would say pushing myself more and not listening to my body. I have had a series of headaches and stomach ache this week due to my change of schedule. And this is the very thing that stress even if it’s not bad stress can do. I should have slowed it down a bit. Although the overtime was mandatory this week, little things like going to bed when I got home instead of watching an hour of television and being on my phone could have helped. Instead of rushing slowed it down and ate at the times I needed and took my medication at the time I needed to would have helped greatly. These are all things we need to do to make our life even with change run a little more smoothly.
I do hope that you all have a good weekend and can say that even if you have a lot of events that you have to be at or have a lot of things to do that you slow it down and get something out of this weekend for yourself. You have to fill your own cup before you can do anything else for others.
Got the song in your head now? You should. It’s time to move. We discussed the reasons why physical movement can help to cut down the physical stress. So let’s figure out some fun ways to make it happen.
Let’s keep it real I am a full-time mom, wife, I have a full time job and in between life and balance it isn’t easy. My work outs do not ever look the same day-to-day or even week to week. So what are the ways you can increase your physical activity?
- Move-yes if you work you can go to the bathroom on different floors, take the stairs, do some chair exercises. Whatever you choose to do, move. Sitting is the new smoking so you can’t afford to just sit all day. Even if you are one who isn’t all into the gym, you can’t deny how much better your mood and your joints feel after some movement.
- Take a lesson-this is the best time now that the weather is breaking to take a class. If you don’t know how to swim take a lesson. Want to take a class you were too scared to take before or used the cold of the winter as your excuse, dump the excuse and take a class. Taking a class aids in your healthy well-being as well as it can be a great way to network.
- Get involved-there are a lot of ways you can get things done in your community. If you feel the opportunity isn’t there what better way than to create it? Get out and motivate others. While doing this you can help your physical and mental being as well as get involved and meet some dynamic people.
- Form groups-it doesn’t even need to be something super elaborate. It could be a walking club. Get a few or more of you together that can share in a common goal and walk. It’s that simple. No money involved and super easy that will only require some time and some dedication.
- Love -did you know that the more and your new boo or your old boo work out together and get involved in an activity that it helps in your relationship and takes stress away to the max. No one pushes buttons together like a couple. So if you find something you can do together its an automatic win. Don’t want to go out? How about fixing things in your home together? You get to move about, get things done, and the both of you can connect, argue, and love your way to the completion of your task.
- Dance-you can burn a lot of calories dancing the night away. You don’t have to be the best dancer either. If you live alone, turn the music up and get in the zone. You can pretend to be any dancer or entertainer you want to be and have a great time doing it.
It’s time to get out and enjoy your life. A few things I do to get moving:
- Soul Cycle-you can read both of my blogs on my experience. I am not a pro but I definitely can say I am so much better than before.
- Free-yes I use YouTube to my advantage when I can’t get out of my house. I do not allow too much time to elapse where no physical activity is going down but nothing makes me smile more than a free YouTube video work out.
- Gym-I do still try to do at least bare minimal 2 days at the gym. I typically get my 3 days in since I do my workouts during my lunch time at work, shower, and then continue with my day.
- Use my kids-do you know how solid my kids are? Them little nuggets is like big mac babies when it comes to using them for weights. I usually aim for my son but I have them doing all kinds of stuff with me. They think its mommy and me time and I’m like come beat that donut off of me time. I get a kick and they do too. They line up waiting their turn and its always makes the time go fast and a good laugh is always a good thing in my book.
- All of the things above that I mention I incorporate into my life. I am on the road to being well-rounded and as much as I feel like an island I am embracing the idea of including and allowing others in my life appropriately. You know I ain’t letting just any old body around me. However I am finding some great friendships along the way and embracing them.
Stress as we discussed last week starts sometimes in the mind. Going on and on for so long and not getting your mental health in check can lead to physical stress. Physical stress is when your body becomes very reactive to the negativity that you in or are around.
Let me share with you how bad physical stress can be. When I was in college I was obviously under a lot of stress to make sure my grades were good, I was dating my boyfriend and through immaturity we were that couple you never want to invite because were always fighting, and I was trying keep my parents at bay to the decisions in my life I was making. This lead to one day me having the worst chest pains I had ever had. I thought I was having a heartache. I get to the hospital where they run all types of tests on me only to be cleared as one of the most healthiest the doctors had ever seen. I was having an anxiety attack. The anxiety attack started to mimic physical pain that wasn’t there. If you have ever experienced an anxiety attack you know what I mean.
Another time I experienced physical pain was when after graduating from college I had started a new job working with troubled youth. I enjoyed them but I didn’t have the life balance thing down. I was underpaid and overworked. There’s just no way of sugar-coating it. There were long hours and long nights, lack of hanging with friends and family and stress was an understatement. I was having so much pain that it felt like my stomach was in the worst pain in my life. It was so bad the pain was so convincing that the doctors took my appendix out. It was determined after it was out that my appendix was just fine and not in harm’s way to erupt. Both times there were many things that could have been done to elevate the stress but I never caught on until the pain in my body could no longer be explained. I had allowed stress to make me sick on top of it taking over my mind and thought process.
One of the things that I am learning is that even in the worst of situations its best to take care of your body. Remember stress can kill. Even if things start in your mind and filter in your body, it can kill. Balancing your world in a world that doesn’t know how to balance takes quite a lot of practice. So when you are finding that those headaches and stomach-ache are not letting up, its time to call your doctor. They are equipped to run test to be sure that everything is okay. If the test show no reason as to why you are sick than its time to make some changes.
- Get Physical-how does that make sense? Being physical allows you to declutter your mind and keep your body in check. Who wouldn’t to look good while keeping your stress levels down? It only takes 30 minutes of physical activity a few times a week to do your body some good. What are you waiting for?
- Eating Right-this is a huge help to your physical body. Eating right helps your body respond at the top of your game. To eat right takes discipline. It takes preparation and having a plan. If you’re not on board for doing a health kick, I would recommend arm yourself. Have better snacks at your desk. Pack your lunch. When there is no plan you will eat whatever is there just because you don’t have food to eat. Start your day with breakfast. Even if you aren’t a breakfast person, eat a cereal bar or granola in the am and then eat what I call a breakfast snack. I usually eat 6 small meals a day. This makes sure I am not hungry and will not need to go to that fast food place. When you eat better, are full, you essentially make better eating options.
- Vitamins-talk to your doctor before you start taking vitamins. Do NOT take things from others that are not approved by your doctor. Your doctor knows what you need and you want to make sure you are operating at your prime
So we all know that we have to take care of ourselves. We know that health is wealth. So if you don’t want to be the person who is sick all the time and unhealthy the time is now. We will be exploring a few options to make your physical stress disappear that can be both fun but health worthy.