Ask Toi: Do I still go to a party my wife wasn’t invited to?

A husband has been invited to a party that is a couples only party however here’s the catch the host made it clear that his wife isn’t invited.

I would say that is another level of disrespect.  I could see if a couple of friends were getting together and this friend was a friend of just you the husband but if its a couples party how do you invite someone with a spouse but don’t invite the spouse?  I would say keep the peace in your home.  Even if your wife doesn’t mutually like the host as well, there’s no way she’s going to be okay not being invited.  I think as a friend the host shouldn’t have gone out of her way to not include your spouse.  As a husband I would be expecting you to make a statement to your friend on it.  The host should be able to deal with your spouse for an event and be cordial.  This makes no sense to even entertain going to the event without your wife.  I think you are creating a war in your own home. Any friend or family that doesn’t respect your wife is no friend of yours.  Let’s be clear she/he can dislike your spouse, but to disrespect your spouse is a huge offense.  Your friendship with this person should definitely be in the red with this one.  You need to re-evaluate this friendship.  I’ve seen where family and friends don’t like the spouse but I think it’s something where you either invite them both or not at all.  There is no other way around it.

If you attend that party you are asking for trouble.  You are setting the tone that its okay for you as a husband to allow this host to disrespect your wife.  It’s one thing for your wife to be invited and decide she doesn’t want to go than for your wife not to be invited at all.  Unless your wife and the host has come to blows and even then its clear that the host not invite you at all.  I wouldn’t see how you could be friends or sit with friends and family where a fight with your spouse has even happened but that’s just me.  Husbands and wives when in a situation where there is a couples event should be invited.  Won’t you feel a certain way where all the other couples are coupled up?  Yeah you might as well speak to this so called friend and not attend.

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7 Comments

  1. Cheryl

    This man needs to make it clear to everyone, if you don’t want to invite my wife, then don’t invite me. Now if the couple is invited and the wife chosen not to attend, ok. But as you said and I’m also speaking from experience, this is another level of disrespect. You either respect my marriage & who I made my wife or you will not see me. It’s never ok to attend something your wife or husband blatantly wasn’t invited to. Well, that’s not ok in my marriage.

    Liked by 1 person

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