Pain will have you react in very weird ways. You find yourself isolating yourself or cutting off relationships. It’s necessary to find the balance in who is for you and those who aren’t. Pain can distract you from fulfilling love that you need.
What is one failure you are comfortable sharing that taught you the most lessons?
I failed as a daughter. As most of you know my mother passed away in 2004 and as the saying goes, when the elders pass, the family falls apart. Well, that’s what happened with me. I’ll put my disclaimer in now and state that I am solely speaking for MYSELF and MY experience only. I can not and will not speak for anyone else. So back to my failure. In dealing with my mother’s death, I failed at being a daughter to my father. Yes I lost my mom, but my dad lost his wife. As I look back, I realize I let my immature, unforgiveness and pain take over and to be honest, cut my dad out of my life. For what reason, well, I really don’t have one. So this is why I say I failed as a daughter. I wasn’t who I was supposed to be to my father and let years go by without any communication. I even got married without my father walking me down the aisle or even in the building! Now, that I have to live with. No one is perfect and parenting doesn’t come with a guide. So regardless of what failures my dad had, he was and will always be my father. Now, I don’t have any horror stories and I WILL NOT cast my dad in a bad light because that would be a lie. So like I said, I went on about my life after my mom passed as if my father didn’t exist, leaving him to grieve alone for years to come. How sad and horrible is that? How do you call yourself a Christian when you aren’t doing right in other areas of your life? Then wondering why other things in your life aren’t lining up and there are no breakthroughs, elevation or real peace. Yeah that was me and I can be honest and open and tell my truth. So what is that status of my relationship with my dad now? We are GREAT! It took a random encounter to bring me to my dad again and since then we were able to pick up like nothing ever happened. My dad and I are both different people now and we both have forgiven and moved on. It’s great to go back to being Daddy’s Little Girl (I”m the youngest girl)! Now only if I can get him to move to Miami with me!
It’s refreshing to hear your vulnerability in how you describe your relationship with your dad. You only get one set of parents and to be able to make amends now so you can make the best of an amazing relationship.
From the failure with your dad, what other lesson have you learned?
Don’t let your emotions control your decisions. When you make decisions off your emotions, often times it is the wrong decisions and you are left dealing with the consequences that may take years to recover from. Live in peace. Meaning, do whatever you need to do to have complete peace in your life. Whether it’s forgiveness, restore relationships or even end relationships, do what you need to do to have, protect and keep your peace.
What are is the 3 things you would want to tell other younger woman in regards to lessons learned?
Cherish your parents (or whoever raised you), spend time with them, call them, create memories
Speak up. Be honest about your feelings and thoughts. Communication is key.
Be Sensitive. Parents go through things they would never discuss with their children. Parents have feelings and emotions just like we do.
What are 3 goals for your future?
Buy a house
Own my own Bakery
Own Rental Properties
If you could sit down with any woman past or present who would it be and why?
My mother of course! I always wondered what our relationship would be like now if she was still here! She was a woman full of wisdom and grace and I definitely could use some of both right now! Navigating life as an adult without your mother really sucks! There are times I want to pick up the phone and call for that good ole’ motherly advise, but then reality sets in…no more calls!
IF you have any projects that are coming up in the future what are they?
I’m focused on building up my business, Miss.Sis.Bakery (Sis was my mother’s nickname). I’ve been networking and trying to get my business out there through being a vendor at various events and local markets. I’m located in North Miami, I’m a regular vendor at Gulf Stream Green Market on Sundays from 9-2 until May 26 and have various scheduled events on other dates.
What is the one thing as a woman, you feel helps or helped you make your mark in this world?
I have always been a woman to stay true to myself. I’m a woman of my word. I’m not easily influenced or swayed to go along with the masses. Too often, especially in this day and age, its hard to find people who you can truly trust and have your best interest at heart. Therefore, I try to be what I am looking for or in need of.
Thank you so much for speaking authentically and I hope that this will help in your continued healing.
For all of those who may be experiencing the lost of a loved one, know that my heart is with you. Know that you should remember that others surrounding the deceased processes death in different ways. Try to be there for one another. Don’t let pain and emotions run your life.
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